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Years ago, not long after I had struck out on my own to start my own PR agency, I attended a party where I met a prominent journalist at a top-tier news outlet, and we had a nice chat and exchanged contact details. For years, we didn’t cross paths professionally. But one day, she reached out. A source for a very sensitive story needed advice on how to handle the press scrutiny that she would soon be experiencing.
There was no contract, no fee, no ask—just someone in need. I offered my counsel freely.
As a result, over the years, the reporter has continued to refer clients to us and has introduced us to other colleagues who could be helpful to our clients. And while those referrals have certainly been valuable, what they really represent is something more powerful: trust.
Beyond the numbers, there’s a hidden currency in business that yields richer returns than any deal you could close. It is the power of favours, freely given and authentically received. In a world where AI can automate emails, suggest connections, and streamline transactions, the human gestures that cannot be automated become even more valuable. A well-built “favour bank” can unlock long-term relationships, opportunities, and goodwill that no amount of money can buy.
This may sound obvious, but I was recently reminded of this idea when I was asked for a finder’s fee when a former colleague made introductions for possible new business. I was struck by how transactional that felt, but also surprised because I have given and received introductions freely, keeping my favour bank philosophy in mind.
In 2015, researchers at the University of South California’s Brain and Creativity Institute found that even the smallest acts of kindness (holding a door open with eye contact and a smile) result in “thank you,” or even an offer of help in return. This is the foundation of favour banking: That small, thoughtful gestures can influence how others respond, yielding larger returns over time, both personally and professionally. But with AI handling so much of our day-to-day efficiency, favour banking is what ensures those relationships don’t get reduced to transactions.
Lead with authenticity. Every year over the holidays, we send highly personalised gifts to our clients. For a client who couldn’t stop raving about the wool products she bought while on vacation in Scotland, I sent a locally made wool throw blanket with a note explaining why I thought she’d love it. For a journalist my team worked with who’d just had a baby, I made some home-cooked Indian food, offered with no strings attached. Since then, we’ve gone from casual acquaintances to trusted collaborators. AI might remind you of a milestone or surface a client’s preference, but only you can decide to turn that information into a gesture that feels real.
Sometimes authenticity means going beyond small gestures to helping people through major life changes. As media jobs grow more precarious, I’ve had more and more journalists turn to me when they lose one—because the relationships we’ve built are rooted in trust. In one case, a former on-air anchor at a major network reached out, and I was able to connect her with a think-tank client where she became a fellow, giving her space to figure out next steps. Others have gone on to land roles at magazines or media outlets abroad. What mattered most wasn’t the placement itself, but that they trusted me enough to reach out during a vulnerable moment.
Share your expertise on the most effective ways to build a favour bank is to offering your expertise freely, without viewing every interaction as a business opportunity. In a recent example, a scrappy young researcher availed us of his expertise with a complex project for a client in the defence-tech space, free of charge. By doing smart, efficient work for us, he knew he’d begun cultivating an ecosystem of goodwill that would pay dividends. The same principle applies to founders using AI tools: scale what you share publicly with technology, but never stop cultivating one-to-one generosity privately.
Of course, offering free services too often can be unsustainable. But when done selectively, it builds trust and goodwill. The ability to distinguish between when to charge for your services and when to offer them for free is essential.
Here’s one example: Seeking technical advice, the board member of an under-resourced nonprofit approaches the CEO of a cutting-edge AI company. Typically, the CEO might charge for the service—but there’s often much greater long-term value in doing it for free. That board member is likely connected to other organisations and companies. By offering support without a transaction, the CEO is building goodwill that could lead to opportunities when the time comes to tap into that favor bank. People remember how you helped them and will keep you top of mind.
When do I call in my favour? In fact, it’s less a question of when than of how: With directness, confidence, and a respectful acknowledgement of the relationship you’ve already cultivated.
Skip the preamble. Don’t hedge. Don’t bury the ask in paragraphs of context. Just say what you need—clearly, confidently, and with respect for the relationship you’ve built. Be specific: “Can you introduce me to X?” “Would you be open to a 15-minute call to weigh in on Y?” “Would you consider reviewing this deck?”
It makes it easier for them to say yes, and it reinforces the value of the relationship. You’re not asking out of nowhere—you’re tapping into a foundation of goodwill that you’ve already earned.
Strapped for time and resources, start-up founders may think they can’t afford to dole out favours for free. But that’s the danger of short-term thinking: Amid the chaos of starting a business from scratch, you can easily lose sight of what a robust ecosystem of those you can trust and rely on when you need it the most. In other words, start-up founders can’t afford not to practice favour banking. In the early days, it’s tempting to chase every dollar. But the strongest foundations are built on trust, not transactions. A founder who leans only on transactional efficiency risks missing the very relationships that make scaling possible.
In a world that’s increasingly driven by algorithms, AI, and transactional thinking, the human element is more important than ever. In fact, borrowing a phrase from a philosopher client, in the age of AI, I am bullish on humans. A favour bank isn’t built overnight, but its returns are invaluable. Whether it’s helping a friend with a newborn or connecting a client with a valuable introduction, it’s those thoughtful gestures that ultimately make the biggest difference in life—and business.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Rimjhim Dey is CEO of the PR agency DEY. Ideas & Influence, which focuses on marketing big ideas around big problems for humanity.